If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
