I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
