I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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