i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize