Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
