do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
