if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
