Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
sarcasm needs its own font
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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