I don't usually arrange sex via text message
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize