exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
