i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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