I wanna passion pit in your ass
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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