Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
