We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Dick very happy bro
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
