I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
