There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize