i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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