Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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