dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
