I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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