After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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