I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
