he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
