shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
