I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize