Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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