My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I am never drinking with the goths again.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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