Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
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If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
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I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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