I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
