Hey man sorry I got all grabby
never play flip cup with pint glasses
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
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