i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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