i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Drunk is a universal language darling
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