the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's shark week go big or go home
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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