I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize