I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
