Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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