How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
i believe in u and ur pee
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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