Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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