I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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