It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
