Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
