The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
