i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
