Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
