Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
this boner is exhausting
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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