I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets