It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
