I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from