So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?