I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN