sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know