We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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