used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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