Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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