It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
