i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
