I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
