Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
