why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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