I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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