Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize