Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
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He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
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Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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