cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
