i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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