Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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