She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
