Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
