Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
