I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just forgot I was standing up.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
