what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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