so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
