there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize